How to feed yourself while living alone

it's hard.

Before the pandemic, I could never imagine living alone. It sounded crazy because some of my earliest memories were about having to entertain myself in a tiny apartment while my parents were gone. Then in my 20s, I did most of my travels solo too.

But aloneness didn’t mean isolation. When my parents left me home, I made friends with a kid across the hall—and she’d slip tangerine slices through the cracks of our metal gate. As I entered adulthood later on, I’ve always leaned on friends and strangers to help with silly deeds, like opening all types of stupid bottles or changing a toilet seat. And so many couples I met on the road loved taking care of and feeding “that poor girl” who’s on her own.

Three years of pandemic and one very codependent relationship later, though, I’m living alone. The week after my ex moved out, the silence in my apartment was so loud that I filled the void by seeing friends almost every day. On some days I didn’t speak a word—not even to my cat.

Now… I won’t trade my personal space and time for anything. Living alone isn’t always glamorous—paying for everything on my own is a struggle and carrying heavy grocery still makes me die inside. But reader, I’ve been released from the unpaid labor of planning and cooking dinner for two every night.

This absolute freedom means I can be lazy and simply not eat. So for a while, I didn’t have regular meals because no one else was holding me accountable. But it’s a vicious cycle of starving, getting more tired, and having to order takeouts all the time. Not a great lifestyle in this economy.

To rescue myself, I asked a bunch of friends who have been living alone and absorbed all their wisdom. Here are the best tips in no particular order of preference:

1. Always have something easy in the freezer: frozen dumplings, vegetables, pizzas, and TJ ready meals.

2. The 1.5 rule: Whenever you have half of something left, stock up before it runs out completely. “That’s how I live my life, like toilet paper, toothpaste, soap, conditioner, skincare, etc. You never catch me scramblin’” - Erika

3. If you dine out, try to bring leftover home even if it’s just broth. You can turn it into a full meal by adding vegetables, protein and/or carbs.

4. Don’t be afraid of buying pantry items in bulk, if you know you’re going to use them later. “Whereas I don’t bulk buy snacks because I change my mind about what snacks I like all the time.” - Esther

5. If you cook a batch of stew, or buy big packs of meat, freeze half right away so you’re not stuck with having to eat them all up in a few days. Frozen prepped meals will come in handy especially when you feel too exhausted to cook.

6. Keep all your takeout containers and jars so you can load up that freezer.

   

   when in costco

7. Invest in an air fryer because it’s easy to clean up. It can also keep your food warm in case you don’t have time to eat right at this moment. “Basically, minimize the time cooking, dishes used, and the possibility of spoiling whenever possible.” - DJ

8. Cook your rice and leave it in the rice cooker before your last meeting of day, then you can just stir fry something quick once you’re done working.

9. Use a self-care app like Finch to set mealtime reminders. You have to take care of a bird on the app—think Tamagotchi—by accomplishing goals you’ve set for yourself. “It’s really cool for people who are compassionate or like taking care of things, because it makes you take care of yourself by taking care of something else.” - Catherine

10. Learn how to be creative with a staple of ingredients so that you’re not just buying random stuff for a recipe you use once. “You can figure out how to use what you have and not spend extra money/space/energy on ingredients while being able to mix up your cooking.” - SueAnn
    Note: BuzzFeed’s Tasty app allows you to plug in a few key ingredients and it pulls up all the relevant recipes.

11. It’s tempting to just have one set of utensils and tableware, but buy more so you can accumulate enough dishes for the dishwasher—also in case you ever want to host a dinner party.

12. If you’re not a cereal or oatmeal person, it’s really hard to use up a carton of milk before it starts getting clumpy. You can either get a slim carton, or look for something organic—it can usually last 2-3 weeks after opening.

13. There’s no shame in using the Too Good to Go app for an easy meal. (Just remind yourself to reserve a spot the night before if a place is popular.)

14. “Seamless.” - Sri

15. “Sometimes I just eat yogurt with frozen mango and cherries for dinner with some wine, because I’m an adult and I can do what I want and love it!” - KJ

16. Invite a friend or two over for dinner. You don’t always have to eat alone.

a real life footage of me

Wait, what about meal prepping every Sunday? No, it never works more than once unless you’re an obsessive psycho who wants to eat the same shit 5 days a week. I’d say writing down what you might want to cook for the week ahead will help you with shopping for grocery, but that’s about it.

As my single support group told me, part of cooking—or living—solo is about knowing yourself and your values. If cooking a gourmet meal every night makes you happy, by all means. Or if you’d rather have Soylent every day and spend money on dining out, that’s fine too. Treasure this solo moment before you meet your partner who will abso-fuckin’-lutely ruin your cabinet organization or break your most expensive wine glass. Cheers to you singletons.